


say something (it's only a matter of time)

by heartbreakordeath



Category: Bastille (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Strangers to Lovers, happy birthday dansmlth <333, high quality Luna content, if I tag this as slow burn trust me it'll slowly make sense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:42:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27486742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartbreakordeath/pseuds/heartbreakordeath
Summary: This is a story about falling in love.
Relationships: Charlie Barnes/Dan Smith
Comments: 10
Kudos: 12





	say something (it's only a matter of time)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dansmlth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dansmlth/gifts).



> we hope you have a FANTASTIC day dansmlth and we love you lots and lots <3333 thank you for being our friend

**10th November 2018**

_Charlie_

Charlie’s on the verge of Saying It, just then, and that’s fucking terrifying, so he gears himself up to ask Dan if he’s started sleeping bett-

“I drew you something,” Dan says softly, the first real words either of them have spoken all afternoon, and suddenly it hits that it’s just _them, alone in Dan’s room_ \- Dan, Charlie, _Feelings_ \- and the smartest thing Charlie can think to say is:

“No way!” 

Dan smiles, and then his smile goes a bit like jelly. “Yeah, I-”

But Charlie’s brain is processing, still, slowly, and he interrupts with: “You _drew_ me something? Your art- it’s- it’s-”

Dan shrugs, his cheeks pink. “‘S not great. But I… anyway.” 

Charlie takes the pages of (what looks like) comic-book panels from him, shifting on the bed and trying to ignore the way their hands brush. He shuffles the pages into the right order, Dan swearing and apologising beside him, and-

_This is a story about falling in love._

“I’ll go ‘n make you a cup of tea,” Dan murmurs, and Charlie nods distractedly, already totally immersed and unable to stop reading that first panel, because- 

Charlie’s written stories before, in song-form, little screeching pathetic tadpole things that wriggle around in the petri-dish of his notebook. He’s written, oh, 60 and counting, about Dan now? Feelings and hopes and dreams and desires- 

And he’s _read_ his fair share of stories, too, loves to curl up on the sofa with Luna’s warm head in his lap and no other thoughts or worries in his head. But it’s a different feeling, now, to know that he’s not the only one who wants to read this one.

_Maybe it starts at the end._

And Charlie looks up, time having gone sticky, and there’s Dan with a steaming mug of tea, and something just _clicks._

Maybe your life doesn’t Begin when you’re born, as in, _this is your only chance at this_. There are certainly lots of I’m-in-love beginnings, some mayflies, other tortoises. 

Charlie watches Dan set the cup of tea down on his bedside table, watches as his hand darts back, as if he’s worried it’s about to fall off even though it’s firmly centered. 

Sometimes love feels like falling. This time, though- 

He glances up at Dan, watches something flicker across his face, feels that, like an old, well-loved film, he’s seen that look before. 

He looks down at Dan’s comic. He knows what that expression means, now. Dan’s gone and drawn it for him. 

_/_

**14th of August 2018**

_Kyle_

“I can’t put too much thought into it,” Dan mumbles, and has Kyle heard correctly? 

“You-”

“It has to come from the heart.” 

Kyle frowns. “Doesn’t that just...come with being an artist?”

Dan sighs heavily, crumpling up another piece of paper and tossing it in the general direction of the rubbish bin. Kyle’s eye twitches as he stares at it on the floor, surrounded by what feels like a sea of similar attempts.

“No, it’s- I don’t base things off real life, you know? I use _other_ people’s stories, not mine. Sometimes I slip into myself, but it’s- it’s harder, that way. It’s one thing to have it written down, drawn out, but it’s different when people actually have a look at it, y’know?”

(Kyle has absolutely no idea what this means.)

“Yeah,” he replies, content to let Dan keep talking (because he knows, of course, that Dan will keep talking).

“This is a dumb idea,” Dan states with a punctuated tap of his pencil against the table. “When was this ever a good idea?”  
  


“...when you wanted to give something to Charlie? To, you know…” Kyle shrugs. “I don’t think I have to say it.”

“Ughhhhhh.” Dan’s forehead hits the stack of paper with a soft thump, and as he turns his head to the side to facilitate talking, Kyle senses he’s got a lot to say. “I just want it to be _good_ . I want him to know that I- that even if he doesn’t feel the same, I feel so, _so much_ and I can’t just hide it from him forever. I _know_ it’s not the same for him- sometimes I think I catch, like, a shiver of it on his face, but that could be _anything_ , it could be just me wishing for something that isn’t there - and this has to show… But then, I don’t want him to get the wrong idea, either...”

It’s time for Kyle to step in, and he does. “Listen.” Dan groans and doesn’t move. “He’s going to like it, Dan. He’s going to _love_ it. Because _you_ made it. For _him_.”

Dan lifts his head, blinking like the light is hurting his eyes. “You think?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

Dan sits there for a moment, considering. He fiddles with his pencil, tapping it against his fingers, staring with intense concentration at the current blank page in front of him.

(Kyle’s kind of been there, and he kind of really really _hasn’t_.)

“...Okay. Okay.” He takes a breath. “If you’re _sure_ he’ll-”

“Am _I_ supposed to be the one hopelessly in love with him? If you don’t believe me, you’ll just have to find out yourself, then, won’t you?”

Dan’s eyes say, _How could you do this to me?_ and Kyle has to fight the urge to gently roll his own. 

“Best case scenario,” Dan mumbles, “Kate - she always says to think of that.”

“Kate is very wise,” Kyle agrees. 

“I told her she was just paid to be nice to me last week, like an idiot,” Dan says, shifting back in his seat, and suddenly Angsty Dan is losing his grip, and Kyle watches his friend come back to him. 

"What did she say to that?" 

“She said I’m the sort of person she’d be nice to even if I didn’t pay her £30 an hour to word vomit all my anxieties onto her desk. Or something. Which was really...” 

Kyle watches Dan zone out for a second, and then look up and ask, “Do you fancy Thai food?” 

“I thought you’d never ask. Gotta get your artistic juices well-fed.” 

Dan grins. “How many spring rolls is too many? And should I get the pork, or the- No, I’m _getting_ the pork… and then dessert…”

Kyle smiles at him fondly. _It’ll all work out_ , he wants to say. _You’ll see._

###  **_/_ **

**31st of July 2018**

_Luna_

“Do I wake him up, Luna?” 

Tearing her eyes away from a _Bake Off_ rerun, Luna looks from Charlie to Charlie’s sleeping Friend. His hair is flopping in his face and moving as he breathes, and Charlie looks like his heart is flip-flopping just as much. His fists are clenched like if he unclenches them he’ll go and do something like ever-so-gently push his friend’s hair back from his face, or do that thing humans do where they touch mouths. 

“He might hate me if I let him sleep. Maybe he hates me full stop.” Charlie stares, eyes soft and sad. “I should wake him up…but he looked so tired…” 

Dan starts frowning in his sleep, making Charlie frown too. Charlie and Luna watch as he reaches out a hand across the sofa, searching like he wants to hold something, and Luna watches as Charlie makes soothing noises and touches his Friend’s hand with his own- 

Like a bear trap snapping shut, Charlie’s hand is caught in a blink. Charlie lets out a startled little _oh!_ , eyes wide, and then his expression softens, just as Dan’s own expression smoothes out, and a smile creeps onto his face, quickly finding itself matched.

“I’m in so deep, Luna,” Charlie whispers, and Luna just wags her tail, hard. On the TV, a man with ginger hair wins the Showstopper round, grinning next to his Tropical Holiday Roulade.

“I was going to talk to him,” Charlie goes on, with a _thanks, universe_ , laugh. “Tell him- tell him I-” 

_Say it_ , Luna urges. _Say it, and you’ll hear it back. I know so._

/

**16th of July 2018**

_Kyle_

All night, Kyle’s wanted Dan to say what’s on his mind - from the perspective of a concerned friend, one who knows from experience that everything feels a little better once it’s out in the open. 

Then: “I’m not sure,” Dan says quietly, “that I can live without him. I-” 

Kyle waits, trying to stay calm, but Dan doesn’t say anything else. Kyle swallows, says, “Mate? Are you saying this like, like you want to-”

Dan’s eyes shoot up to Kyle’s face, wide with surprise. “Fuck - _no_. _No_. I just… ‘m just being melodramatic. Sorry. Sorry, ignore me.” 

“Friends don’t ignore each other,” Kyle says gently, sitting down on Dan’s bed, close enough that their legs and arms touch. “‘Specially when they’re hurting.” 

“It does,” Dan says, looking back down at his feet again. “Hurt, I mean. A lo- a fucking lot. I _adore_ him, present tense, _I will adore him_ , future tense, the only things I can feel involve _feeling, about him_ , how can I _possibly_ continue, like this, forever?” He glances back at Kyle, expression stricken. “It’s like he ran me over. And I’d let him do it again if it meant he’d be near me again. I-”

“Do you want to talk about what happened? Between the two of you, I mean?”

“I nearly said it.” Dan’s looking at the far wall now, eyes distant, reliving. “I nearly said it, and then- and then I realised that I can’t ask him to be mine, that that wouldn’t be fair. But _fuck_ … how I want it…” 

Kyle slings an arm around Dan’s shoulder, and Dan leans in. “If he doesn’t- if he’s not head over heels, he’s not worth it, mate.” 

“I know.” Dan’s voice says, _am I just unlovable?_ , and Kyle pulls him closer. 

“I’ll get over it.” 

Kyle says, meaning every word, “I wish you didn’t have to.” 

/

**15th of July 2018** ****

_Luna_

Luna’s walked in on something momentous. Whatever Charlie’s friend just said ( _did he say it?_ Luna didn’t hear anything, but there’s a silence like they’re both processing words just spoken), it hangs in the air. Luna tests the heaviness of it, flexing her jaw, whimpers. She hopes this won’t take long- it’s been nearly two days, or maybe closer to half an hour, since she’s eaten.

Charlie’s radiating stress, the kind that either says _go away_ or _help me_. Luna sniffs the familiar coat hanging by the door and wrinkles her nose at the not-Charlie scent. There’s been more of that lately, more people he’s been around when he leaves her for hours on end. It makes things more confusing, as none of them ever show up here themselves.

Except this one. 

So Luna has to investigate, of course. Both of them look at her, surprised at the interruption. She looks up, struggling to see all the way up to the face of the Friend. He’s staring back at her, motionless.

This is odd. Normally, friends are happy to see her. They reach for her, exclaim _Dog, Dog, Dog_ even though that’s not her name. They all seem to think it is, for some reason.

“Hi there, Luna,” Friend says, finally reaching down to brush a hand over the top of her head. Ah. This friend is smart, like Charlie. He should stay, this friend.

Luna perks up, focuses her gaze on Charlie, who seems to not know quite what to do.

Charlie’s Friend says - eyes darting to Charlie and then back to Luna - “Me and Charlie were just talking about Twin Peaks,” and Luna cocks her head to one side. They were talking about it three minutes ago, sure - but then something happened, Luna’s sure of it. 

Charlie looks at Dan like he’s trying to read words written across his face. “Yeah,” he says slowly. “Yeah. We were. I-” 

“I’m kind of,” Charlie’s Friend says - half a sentence, and it must be difficult for him to say the rest - “on a forum? A forum for Twin Peaks? I’m kind of… _known_ , actually, for doing really long rambling posts? Which is probably so...” He tails off. 

Charlie swallows. By the time he’s near to getting his own sentence out, his Friend has already chimed in with: 

“I know it sounds like something someone with no life would be on-”

“No no,” Charlie says quickly, “it’s great! _Really_. A forum… cool.” 

Luna peers at Charlie, at the slight sweat on his temples. Charlie’s Friend- _Dan_ , as Charlie keeps calling him- does a rather forced smile. 

“I’d better get going,” he says, and Charlie moves, almost reaching out for him, which seems to startle them both. Then Dan is looking at the floor, and saying, “Really busy with uni work… might be a little bit until I’m free to, um, hang out again, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Charlie echoes, looking like he wants to shout _no no no NO_ instead. “Yeah, yeah, me too. I’m busy, I mean.” 

They stare at each other. _Just say it_ , Luna thinks. 

Charlie says instead, “Bloody boiling out. Do you want a drink before you-”

“I’d better get going.” Another smile that doesn’t meet Friend’s eyes. “Thanks, though.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

They move towards the door. Luna plops down on the carpet with a huff and lays her head on her paws. _Just tell him_ , she thinks helplessly. 


End file.
